First Show

Kitty competed in her first show this weekend.  She’s been riding a little old quarter horse mare at her Auntie Dawn’s barn and just joined 4-H.

Kitty competed in Showmanship, Western Equitation (walk, jog) and Western Pleasure (walk, jog).  She placed 8th, 4th and 4th.  Her classes were of 10-15 people.  Not bad, huh?  Especially since she only learned showmanship a whole 3 days before the show.  She only had that one practice too. 

After fair this year, the little mare she’s riding will be retiring.  Sue, the mare, is a bit too old and too sore to be cantering any more.  After all, she’s 24!

Auntie Dawn took pictures, but she hasn’t sent them to me yet.  :(

Sue

 

The Farm

No official word yet…

We’ve been told they have a specific couple in mind.

Needing an extra dose of good energy, prayers and luck!

Jingles, Prayers and Good Thoughts

Today was Wordless Wednesday.  And, if you noticed, I was pretty wordless!

I spent some time today thinking about my own childhood.  About running pell-mell all over the back forty.  About gathering eggs and feeding the steer.  About woods and dogs and whooping at the top of our lungs.  About raccoons, corn, elk and the garden harvest.  About tree climbing and wading in the creek.  

I thought about all those countless hours I spent at my grandparents’ on the Olympic Peninsula.  Did I mention they homesteaded up there in the ’30s?  Those memories are the very fondest of my childhood.

So, I spent the day thinking those warm, lovely thoughts.  For some time now, I’ve mourned the fact my children won’t have memories or experiences like that.  We live in suburban hell, where the nearest open space we really touch is a park or the ranch where Casey is boarded.  Even then, spaces aren’t exactly wide open or tree filled.  They’re neatly divided up into little 1-12 acre parcels, where as much as possible is jammed into that small space.

As many of you know, we’re planning on moving closer to Portland, which means closer to CP’s work.  This is to happen by the end of June, when our lease here is up.  So, I spent the day fairly silent.  I was waiting for word from The Corporate Prince.

And now, drum roll please….

I HAVE REALLY BIG, GINORMOUS NEWS!

Ready?

Wait for it,

WAIT for it!

WE found the perfect house!  Absolutely perfect all the way down to availability!

Late last night I stumbled across a craigslist posting for a 3 bed/2 bath farmhouse on, get this!  5 acres!  Yes!  I can hardly believe it myself!

So, it’s a 1903 farmhouse that has been updated in the last couple years, all the way down to the electric and plumbing.  Would you like to see?

There are out buildings including a barn and a fenced pasture.

There are 2 chicken coops, a dog kennel, a storage building, a tractor, mature fruit trees, plenty of space to run and play and a vegetable garden plot!

More, it backs up to BLM land, so it can’t be developed, ever.

There’s a new school going in one road over.  It’s less than 5 minutes to the local QFC, 10 minutes to the nearest mall, and less than an hour from the coast.  And, it’s only 20 minutes to CP’s office, instead of the 45+ he’s commuting now.  Yes!  A farm near the heart of Portland!  Can you believe it?  

CP was the first person to see the property.  He saw it tonight and took a ton of pics with his iPhone.  He picked up an application and will be turning it in tomorrow.  However, and here lies the rub.  The current renters had already made an appointment to show it to someone on Friday.  They feel obligated to keep that appointment, which I understand.  But WE WANT THE HOUSE!

Seriously, it’s everything we’ve wanted in a property when we buy.  How great would it be if we could rent this bit of heaven?  As it is, we’d love to buy if the owner will consider selling in the future.

So, will you lend me your jingles, well-wishes, prayers and good thoughts?  We’d really like to live in this house.  It solves so many dilemmas and reminds us both of our respective grandparent’s houses.  After all, we’d love to be able to give our kids the experiences we had growing up.

Please?

Thanks!   I knew I could count on you!

I’ll keep you posted.

Monday Morning Meme

 

As usual, I got this from over at Karen’s.  Won’t you play along too?

1. Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet exciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life? Explain your answer, please.

So, do I want to be successful and have a terrible personal life or a great personal life and a mediocre professional life?  I don’t know of anyone that would intentionally choose a terrible  poor personal life.  So, I think the question comes down to, would you rather be happy or be successful.  Personally, I’d rather be happy.  However, success at work, where my social life also existed was great.  Home was for resting.  I get this isn’t a common condition, but it worked for me.  Now, I’d rather have a great personal life because being professionally successful isn’t a need I have.

2. What are you doing to help the environment? Tell us how you cut down on your environmental impact.

We have one vehicle, we recycle and we have cut back on utility usage.  I talk to my kids about the environment as well so they’re aware and starting to “think green”.  I also use eco friendly household cleaners.  And, we’re planning on moving closer to my husband’s work to cut down on fuel consumption.

3. Who would you not mind being stuck in an elevator with? Someone who’s handy could help get you out. Someone hot could help pass the time. List who’s in there with you.

My husband.  ’Nough said.  It might get a little steamy.

4. How often does your family have their portrait taken? Is it professionally done? If possible, post your last family portrait. Now that I’ve got you thinking about it, when do you plan on having your next family portrait taken?

We haven’t had a family portrait taken yet because it can be hard to get both of the girls here at the same time and have everyone feeling well.  It’s been a challenge.  We have a few candids from a couple years ago all together, but as the girls are rarely together, it’s been difficult to accomplish.  And, those photos aren’t on this computer.  :(

Twilight In Review

 

I found this book to sit with me like a bad meal.

It was 24 hours of my life I’ll never get back.  Just wasted. 

I think that if you’re going to write about an area, you at least need to visit the area you’re writing about.  I grew up in Olympia and my grandparents homesteaded on the Penninsula.  I spent many, many trips and hours there.  Some of the travel routes were just off, some of the places weren’t exactly where she wrote them and there aren’t grizzlies in Rainier, WA.  Maybe at Mt. Rainier, but not the town of Rainier.  Also, we call them brown bears, not grizzlies.  And did she totally forget about the ferry that runs from Bainbridge Island or Bremerton to Seattle?  I mean, that would be the faster way to get from Forks to Seattle rather than going down through Montesano to Olympia and back up from there.  Sheesh!  Even Google Maps can show you a route difference!  Clearly more research was needed!

I also found Edward to be both overbearing and salacious.  

In short, blech!!

Now, I will eventually give her other books a try, but right now, I need something to settle my literary stomach.

The End.

Trendsetters, Twilight and More Tequila

For years I’ve had this pattern of liking something until it becomes the current “in” thing.  For instance, I loved Dodge Durangos when they first came out.  And then, circa 1999, they became all the rage in Olympia.  So, I became bored with their popularity.  Another was the color purple.  I had a lot of purple in my house.  Deep eggplant-y purple, amethyst, gray-ish shades of lavender.  And what do you know? Not but two seasons later purple was all over the catwalk and all through out the stores!  So I moved on.

This really has been how my life goes.  I’m never into the current fad.  My friends say they think of me as a trendsetter.  I’m usually into something before it becomes cool and quickly over it before it reaches it’s heyday.  Except this time, something weird happened.

I’ve avoided the Twilight Saga like the plague.  I just never felt the initial urge to pick them up and read them.  Probably because the hub-bub about them started soon after I saw the books in stores.  It started as a hushed whisper that has reached roaring epic proportions as you know.

First, Karen read Twilight and then held a giveaway on her blog for a copy of it.

Then, Kitty read it at Christmas when my mother-in-law, romance writer and vampire lore lover, sent the first two books to my daughter.  Within days, Kitty finished those and bought Eclipse, all before New Year’s.  Kitty loved the saga so much she wrote her own 34 chapter teen vampire love story that I assume follows somewhat of the same lines of Twilight with a big splash of the life she fantasizes about.  

Dawn, my best-est, closest friend of many, many years read it.  She started about the same time as Kitty.  She gushes about Twilight if I bring it up or if it somehow comes up in conversation.

And it’s been blogged about many times over.  Of all the reviews I’ve read about the Twilight Saga, the one that intrigued me the most and led to my breaking down and buying the books is Stephanie’s.  I’ve been lurking around her blogs since soon after she started writing her first one.  I find her talented and admirable as we share some similar tastes outside my life with kids, dogs and horses.  Stephanie refers to the books as not very well written.

So, I bought the books.  All in hard cover because I like my series’ to match in format.  And, for the last couple weeks I haven’t been able to decide if I’m excited or disgusted with myself for following a trend.

I started reading Twilight today.  I’m officially 2 chapters in.  I’ve figured out the draw of Twilight and I texted it to The Corporate Prince.  The conversation went like this:

Me: I’m annoyed at the simplistic writing style of Twilight, yet it flows so smoothly that its hard to put down.  Think of the smooth stylings of JK Rowling married to a simple, first person tween girl type romance and you have Stephanie Meyer.  That’s the draw.  It’s smooth and simple.

Him: Like a Sunset Delite (a tequila drink CP came up with last night- I’ll explain in a minute)

Me: Exactly!  Disturbing that you like it, but addictive by how nicely it goes down.  No wonder it’s following is almost cultish among teen girls and women!  I’ve identified the draw so I should be immune to it’s voodoo like charms.

 

Now to elaborate.

I blogged earlier today about a drink called Caribbean Sunset from the Patron website.  (Go here if you missed it).  We’ve been drinking them for a couple days.  Just a cocktail with dinner.  They go quite nicely with Mexican food.  

However, last night we were all out of orange juice.  It was rather disappointing.  I asked CP if he thought Sunny D would work.  We’d joked about the idea of mixing tequila or vodka with Sunny D before because we seem to always have it around for Kitty.  

Well we tried it last night.  And it goes down so smooth.  It’s rather addictive.  More, it’s disturbing that adults should like or use SunnyD in an adult beverage, right?  The Corporate Prince decided to call it a “Sunset Delite” after it’s ingredients.

Here’s the recipe if you’d like to try it:

Sunset Delite

1 shot of tequila

1/2 shot Triple Sec

6 oz SunnyD- the smooth variety

a splash of grenadine

Mix the tequila, triple sec and SunnyD together, pour over ice, add the grenadine on top, swirl and enjoy.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Tequila Edition

 

I like Patron.

Pretty!

Not to be confused with *Padron.  Although, I like him too!

 

He's pretty too!

 

I can drink it straight.

With “training wheels”.

I also like it mixed!

Recently, CP discovered a new mixed drink for us to try containing tequila.

Caribbean Sunset (from the Patron website)

2 oz tequila

1/2 shot triple sec

3 oz pineapple juice

3 oz orange juice

a splash of grenadine

a squeeze of lime

Mix together the first 4 ingredients in a glass, add the grenadine on top, squeeze the lime in, gently swirl together and enjoy!

 

And the best thing about tequila for me?  I don’t seem to experience the funny and/or annoying side effects you often hear about.  I don’t get mean nor do I dance on tables wearing a lamp shade on my head!

Training Thursday: Negative Reinforcement vs. Positive Reinforcement

Today, we’re not going to work on commands.  We’re going to discuss what positive reinforcement is and what it isn’t.

Often, positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement get mixed up and interpreted incorrectly.  Both styles can and are used with multiple species.  Not just dogs, but horses, monkeys, cattle, cats…  So, let’s define both terms with dictionary.com.

negative reinforcement
Function: noun
: psychological reinforcement by removal of an unpleasant stimulus when a desired response occurs

What does this mean in practicality?  What does it look like?  

Well, a good example of negative reinforcement is the parent that yells at their kids to do their chores.  Pretty soon, the kids only respond to yelling.  The parent starts to yell more and more to get a response out of the kids.  The kids are being negatively reinforced because the yelling stops when they respond by doing their chores.  

Another example would be the common way horses are trained.  Horses are wired differently than kids or dogs for the most part.  For a horse, negative reinforcers are stronger than postitive ones.  A horse will choose to move away from a negative reinforcer rather than stay for a positive one (ie, treat).  Negative reinforcement in horses activates their fear response, which results in a flight response such as moving away from the negative stimulus.  Such as, by putting pressure on the lead rope, a horse is negatively reinforced when he takes a step forward and the pressure is removed.  The pressure is the reinforcer, the reward is the release of pressure.  The pressure is a negative stimulus, the release becomes a negative reinforcement.  Often, people see this as a positive reward.  But it’s not positive.  It’s only removing the negative.  The horse didn’t gain anything it wouldn’t have already had if the negative stimulus hadn’t existed.  The removal of the negative was a good thing, but not truly a positively rewarding thing.  Most horses respond well to this.  However, it may not be ideal in all cases, such as Casey.  But that’s an idea I’m toying with.  :)

Negative reinforcement for a dog might be the choke collar on his neck that tightens when he pulls and then the pressure is released when he quits pulling.  He’s negatively reinforced by the removal of the choking sensation when he quits pulling.  Again, the issue with using negative reinforcement as a primary tool is that it can escalate to where you need even more and more negative stimulus to get the behavior you’re looking for.  In the case of choke collars, real physical damage can happen in untrained hands.  A better use of negative reinforcement with dogs would be using your body to block and back up a dog out of an area you don’t want them in, say like a kitchen.  The reward for backing up and staying out of the kitchen is the removal of your physical presence.  You’re no longer sending the message to “get out of my space”.

Negative reinforcement isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It has it’s uses.  However, I don’t believe it should be the only training method you use or the only tool in your tool box.

Are you following me so far?

Conversely, the definition of positive reinforcement is:

 

positive reinforcement
Part of Speech:	n
Definition:	the offering of desirable effects or consequences for a behavior with the intention of increasing the chance of that behavior being repeated in the future

What does positive reinforcement look like?  

Positive reinforcement is much more reward based.  You receive something you didn’t have before and wouldn’t already exist without the “trainer”.  An example would be the kid who does his chores and gets allowance, the kids who do their chores and receive praise for a job well done.  This isn’t just ending the yelling to negatively reinforce the kids, they’re getting something they didn’t have before the parent said “do your chores”.   They didn’t have allowance money before, or maybe not as much as before if they had an amount squirreled away.  They didn’t have the praise before.  These are things they gained through positive reinforcement.  Some children (depending on age) will begin to seek out additional chores (or a job) to earn additional money.  This is the reward.  Do something expected, gain something they didn’t have before.  It becomes rewarding.

Carrot stretches would be an example of positive reinforcement with horses.  The horse stretches and it gets the carrot as it’s reward.  Positive reinforcement turns on a different pattern in the horse’s behavior.  The horse begins to actively seek reward.  Imagine how this could change the lives of halter horses everywhere.  Instead of being negatively reinforced to prick their ears with the handler cracking a whip (activated fear system, leaving them ready for flight- a negative stimulus), imagine that halter horses are clicker trained to prick their ears and gain the reward of a carrot!  How could this change the person-horse relationship dynamic?  (For me, just think of how this might change my relationship with Casey!  He could learn that people mean good things!)

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ve probably already seen how positive reinforcement shapes the behaviors of dogs and how it speeds the learning/training process.  We’ve learned to lure our dogs into a sit position, click as marker for the behavior that pairs with the word “sit”, and be rewarded for giving the desired result.  Because we’ve rewarded the desired behavior, the dog will seek out ways to earn the reward.

As a side note, I should mention that praise is a secondary reinforcer.  It increases the effectiveness of either reinforcer when paired with it.  However, positive reinforcement is greatly heightened by praise.  

So, in what situations have you been perhaps using negative reinforcement and maybe could replace it with positive reinforcement to gain better results?  In what situations do you know of where positive reinforcement could make your relationship better?  Any questions?

Wordless Wednesday: Tell me what you see edition

 

Tell me what you see.  Tell me what you think.

Finding My Purpose

For a little over two years I have been mourning the loss of my job.  As a single mother, my job was my purpose.  It was how I provided for my family.  It was my identity.  

Since that time, I’ve really struggled with finding my purpose.  Just being home hasn’t been enough.  My kids are school age and don’t require constant care.  There are 7 hours a day when they’re away at school, when they don’t need me that is empty and directionless in my life.

I’ve been lost and unhappy, not really sure how to fill this time.  I’ve questioned what my purpose is over and over.  

Also in this giant gap in my world is a lack of a social life.  I’ve tried to make friends since moving here to Oregon, but I’ve yet to do more than crest the “friendly acquaintance” bar.  My neighborhood doesn’t exactly extend itself to warm welcomes.  Everyone pretty much keeps to themselves.  The barn is far enough from the house that no one who boards there lives close and I’m not there enough to really cement relationships.  Plus my schedule to be there is kind of erratic.  The other barns I’ve boarded at were full of drama.  I didn’t particularly want to bring those friendships into the rest of my life.

Having one vehicle doesn’t help.  We’re not exactly on a bus line either, so that limits opportunities to join a group or do volunteer work.  (I really should explain my neighborhood sometime in relation to town and things- maybe I should give you a photo tour of my house as well).  

I tried to do some sewing this winter so I could sell some horsewear on ebay, feel productive and contribute to our income.  Only, I don’t have the patience to really follow through day in and day out.   I found it tedious and I was pretty bored out of my mind.

Summer is coming.  The kids will be out of school soon.  Finding a part time job, even if the unemployment rate here wasn’t over 10% would be silly.  Daycare alone would negate any financial benefits of my working and I surely don’t want to cost us more money that way.

We live hundreds of miles away from friends and family.  Well, my friends and all of our family.  The Corporate Prince has work friends who live about 40 miles away, plus or minus a little.  That’s a bit far for socializing for the most part.

Hmm…  I also seem to have developed this crippling “I can’t” mentality I need to overcome.

Over the next few months I’m going to explore what my purpose is and the process of finding a social life.  As always, your input is appreciated.

Outside of work, church and family, what serves as a platform for social function for you?  Where have you bonded with people that have turned into good friends?  Do you feel like you have a purpose in life?  Do you do something daily that gives you joy?  How do you find fulfillment?