I often read Craigslist just so I can make snarky comments to Bad Pants about grammar and spelling issues. It can be a rather entertaining pastime. Today, I thought I’d share some of what I’ve found in the Portland and Salem area CL postings.
“My cat has been spayed and neutered”
This one is my favorite! Mind you, the posting was for ONE cat, not two, gender wasn’t posted. Either this guy is a complete idiot and was swindled by their vet or their cat was a hermaphrodite. Which is it? Personally, I don’t think their cat was a freak of nature. Rather, a stupid owner who shouldn’t have pets. And needs to be spayed and neutered themselves!
“Belgium for sale $500”
Honey, I want to buy my own country! Oh, wait. Not country. Horse. That’s b-e-l-g-i-a-N, you dumb asses! You’re not selling a country, but rather a very large draft horse! Dang! I really always wanted my own country!
“Horse Ridding Lessons”
Um, is this about how to rid your property of those pesky horses? Or, how to rid your spouse of hers? Is there some magical trick you do using mystical arm movements? Powder you put down that works like slug bait? A secret, ritualistic dance done on the 4th Sunday of the month under a new moon?
Or, how about this one listed under “Trail, English and Western mare, big personality – $400 (Yamhill county)”
“My loss your gain! Registered Thoroughbred mare, 16.2 hands, 14 years. I will be taking new confirmation pictures.”
Your horse is Catholic? I’ve never met a catholic horse before! How does the Church feel about horses partaking in confirmation rites? Can horses be Catholic?
“headstall and breast caller ”
Ok, just what the heck is a “Breast Caller”? Is it a dude who goes out into the woods with a box of chocolates that calls, “Here booby, booby, boobies! Here booby, booby, boobies”? Or is it a dude that calls out cup size, “A, B, D, C, C, D!”?
Have you found any funny CL postings lately?