Yes, I am Out of Service. I have been for a week.
You see, last Tuesday, I was chatting on the phone outside with Mrs. Mom when suddenly, a spaceship landed out back. Green Men came piling out of it and in my fear, I took off running. They chased me all the while brandishing an ice pick like device that I must assume was their probing tool. I tripped over one of them, a particularly crafty one, leading me to believe the fall was not accidental. My phone went flying. Mrs. Mom was left hanging on the line, listening to the accident as it happened. As I fell, their probe entered my right elbow, exposing the joint capsule.
Dude quickly ran inside to get Bad Pants for help. And alas! The Green Men had all disappeared back into their spaceship and flown away in the seconds it took for him to get outside. Bad Pants helped me up, took me inside and cleaned my wounds.
Final wound tally:
Bilateral injuries to elbow and knee. Elbow suffered severe road rash, chunk of flesh missing creating a hole exposing bone. Knee has road rash, bruise and feels like a wobble board when I walk. And left hand missing a small chunk out of the side where I landed on it.
I have been wearing vet wrap in multiple colors for the past week and taking copious amounts of ibuprofen. Knee and hand are unbandaged. Ibu is now discontinued as I do too much on it, exacerbating the injury and slowing healing.
I’m out of commission, numbering one among the walking (or limping) wounded. I feel near helpless and am off all dog walking and pony duty for the foreseeable future. Glad my girls are here to help lighten the load and that Bad Pants isn’t traveling
Like the Gloria Gaynor song, I will survive. And at least I’ll have another gnarly scar to add to my collection.
Aliens: 1
OS: 0
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Adventures of Life 
I believe every.single.word.
A good story? I wouldn’t want to cast any aspersion on say, my 130lbs Great Dane, my own inattention, a new leash and the appearance outside of Dude. Nah, can’t be it! It was Aliens I tell ya! Aliens!
I’m pretty sure molasses is known to have healing properties. Perhaps your people can rally around you with molasses men they have made on your behalf.
A good idea! But I’ll be making them as neither of the girls can bake. In fact, we’re doing that today!
Or maybe you can stick with traditional means of healing such as rest and infection prevention. Wishing you a speedy recovery. And watch out for those little green guys. They’ll get you every time.
Huh, so it’s Aliens with a probe that caused all this? (As she nods her head and backs away slowly)
How else do you explain the perfectly round, perfectly symmetrical puncture hole going all the way down to my elbow joint?
I can vouch for every.single.word!!
Yes, you were on the phone!
Like I told ya then– at least the probe did NOT reach the usual intended target! Cause you know… you’d REALLY be walking funny then…. 😉
Heal up fast girlfriend! I’m really itchy today, so I must be healing.
Oh my goodness!!!! At least they didn’t snatch you up and take you away…lol!!! Hope that you are feelaing better. : )
Thanks Mellie! Apparently, I feel well enough to have a “discussion” with Casey about behavior today. Meaning, I chased him all over the pasture with the lunge whip. He decided to impersonate a very hot, very naughty Arab again and tried to run Molly off when I had her on lead. Needless to say, he was dripping sweat by the time we were done.
Awesome! 🙂
I mean not the injury of course – the story (wink wink) now isn’t that more fun that saying what really happened!?