Once in a while, I have to admit I’m human and have faults. Unfortunately, a few of these faults lie in the kitchen. I cannot, for the life of me, cook sticky rice. I used to be able to. But, apparently turning 30 caused me to lose that skill. I cannot make pie crust, unless you’d like to be able to replace the soles of your shoes with it. I also cannot make Shake ‘n Bake chicken via the microwavable recipe on the box, or your fork just might break. You can ask The Marine about that one. (And who cooks chicken in the microwave anyways? Who decided that was a skill?)
We changed up our diet and began eating less processed food when we lived on the farm in Oregon. We cooked more foods and relied on packaged less. We also ate out A LOT less. Dessert, which my kids thought needed to happen every day, was relegated to days that start with “S” or holidays. Sugar breakfast cereals quickly joined the ranks of desserts. Yeah, they weren’t too keen on either of those changes, but took it with as much aplomb 8 yr olds and 15 yr olds can muster.
Then, this past January, we changed up our diet some more. We began only eating things with ingredients we could readily identify as food. That means, even if we knew it was a chemical, what the chemical was used for, and could recognize it, we still wouldn’t eat it unless it was naturally occurring as food. Anything with food coloring went right out the window. (An aside here- removing ALL sources of food coloring from Dude’s diet has really changed his behavior. Without food coloring, he no longer needs medication for his ADHD, and is a perfectly pleasant, nice kid. It was sheer dumb luck we stumbled across this). Breads, desserts, snacks, and the sort all became either purchased at the local Farmer’s Market, or were made from scratch. Yes, I made a lot of food from scratch. I bake my own bread. Even in the summer. (I use a bread constructing miracle product in the summer. It’s a sweet little machine called the “Zo”).
We got into the habit of going to the Farmer’s Market every Saturday morning. We usually buy pastries for breakfast from the French baker there. Doodle absolutely loves her cinnamon rolls. I love her authentic croissants (another thing I can’t make!), and BP loves her apple turnovers. Dude eats pretty much whatever you put in front of him, so there is no accounting for taste. 😉 I jest! Dude is a fan of her cinnamon rolls as well.
And so after one particular sunny day in which the younger kids burned themselves to a crisp, we decided to forego the market instead of exposing the kids to more sun. This did not go over well. Not at all! They wanted their cinnamon rolls! So, I decided to make cinnamon rolls from scratch for the kids.
Now, I can bake my butt off with the best of them. Don’t believe me? My butt is flat as a pancake! Really, there’s nothing there to hold up my jeans. Seriously! Alright then, ask Bad Pants. He’ll tell ya he didn’t marry me for my rear end. So there! Proof I cake bake my butt off, because it’s already gone!
Having not made cinnamon rolls from scratch in many a year (they’re time consuming- so sue me!), I could not remember which recipe I had tried last. And I wasn’t about to stoop to buying them out of a can, as Doodle came to us believing that “homemade” cookies came out of the refrigerated section of the grocery store. So obviously, I had to really, really make these rolls from scratch!
Yeah, well, unfortunately, they were a flop! I extremely dislike the recipe I used. They- they were more than just a disappointment. They were hard enough to play baseball with. Or build houses. Or potentially skip on the surface of a pond. Actually, I might have been able to solve the termite problem here in the South if we HAD built houses of them. No self respecting insect wanted to touch them! And they tasted like… styrofoam. A total and complete flop! Of course, Doodle was very happy with them and polished off the pan. (There’s no accounting for taste in children).
Since that time, this particular baking failure has been haunting me. It wakes me at night from a sound sleep. It’s always there, just over my shoulder, in the rear view mirror, right around the bend. And I am determined to get this proverbial monkey off my back! I can and will take back my title of Baking Queen!
So, in order to do this, I have decided that my family and I will taste test different cinnamon roll recipes over the next xx number of days. (Well, until I tire of them or Bad Pants begs me to quit making them, whichever comes first). I need your help, Gentle Readers. I need you to send me the best of the best! Email me your best cinnamon roll recipe and I’ll test it out right here on this blog! Each day’s recipe will be featured here, along with a review on ease of making and taste. The winning recipe will become the new, go-to recipe for the Sunshine-Pants household and be crowned champion!
So, find those recipes and email them to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
How long do YOU think I can hold to making a recipe a day?