If I have been quiet recently, forgive me. It’s been a tough time with my typical anti-holidays sentiments, my family visiting from out of state, work around here trying to get all set up for ponies home, etc, etc, etc.
However, I’m struggling most with knowing I’ll be saying goodbye to a dear, dear friend of mine sooner rather than later. She has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. At best, I will be saying goodbye for the last time about five years from now. At worst, it could be tomorrow. She will leave behind two severely special needs children, who she will never see grow up to become adults, and who will always, always need their mama.
My heart is breaking for her children, for her family, for myself, but mostly for her, as God has tested her more than Jobe her whole life.
Life is never fair. But sometimes, life really deals a rough hand to wonderful people.
*There’s a point at which I don’t know what to say to my beautiful friend. I mourn the loss of my friend, am in shock at the impending loss, but yet she is not gone. I want to mourn for ME, for MY LOSS, but yet she is here still and faces Death with such a positive attitude and outlook. No self-pity, no fear… Just a beautiful, serene, loving outlook on life and an ability to treasure every moment, every breath she has left. I cry for the shadow looming over her life, yet here she is, celebrating what she has, and what she has been given. She is one of the bravest and strongest women I know, an inspiration and example to so many people for how to live. Yet, I wallow in my own selfishness and cry for my impending loss…