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Posts Tagged ‘the Red Bull’

I’ve spent the last 3 1/2 weeks wrapped, bandaged or band-aided.  And if you have to be injured that long, you should get to have your bandages be fun and colorful.

Bandages have come such a long, long way in the last 29 years (when I was 6).  No longer do you have a choice just between new, groovy fabric band aids and the original plastic ones, you get to pick from a myriad of colors, characters and styles!

First, I went through 4 rolls of vet wrap.  Black, blue, pink and purple.  I tried name brand Vet Wrap and Co-Flex both.  I prefer Co-Flex because it tears nicer and you don’t have to cut it from the roll when you’re done wrapping.  Although, Vet Wrap feels softer on your skin and is more flexible.  (From here on out, I will be stocking my barn with Co-Flex- who has time to go look for scissors?)

I spent the holidays all fun and colorful.  I also learned that non-stick gauze pads CAN and DO stick!  I’ve used enough peroxide to soak off gauze pads to have turned any one of my readers blonde.

From there, I graduated to giant band aids designed for knees.  The suck about this is that they’re less absorbent than the gauze/vet wrap combo and I had to change it 2-3 times a day.  But, I had more use of my elbow since it wasn’t stuck out straight from vet wrap.  Unfortunately, giant band aids only come in band aid flesh tone.

Once that graduation occurred, I became quite bored with the same ol’, same ol’ on my elbow.  I began to dream of the day I could move down to regular band aids!  What would I choose?  Hello Kitty?  Scooby Doo?  Power Rangers?  Crayons?  Just plain band aids in bright colors?

I decided I wanted pony band aids.  Of course I wanted pony band aids!  I always want the thing that’s hard to find!  Guess what?  Pony band aids don’t exist.  Not even My Little Pony band aids.  But, I wasn’t out of luck!  I found these:

(Pardon the bad shot.  Bad Pants just taught me how to turn the macro setting on.  I didn’t know about it until AFTER I took the pics.)

Pretty cool, huh?  But wait!  It gets better!  Did you see the words “Free Prize inside”?  They’re kinda like a box of Cracker Jacks!  Only, with a much, much less awesome prize.  See for yourself:

Neither of my girls would have found that puffy lips sticker cool when they were 6.  I dunno but I might have!  Sticker collecting was all the rage then in the ’80s.

But wait!  Did you see this?

Now I know why the Red Bull gathered all the Unicorns up and herded them to the end of the Earth!  It’s become clear that King Haggard sold them to the Chinese so they could hold the Unicorns in captivity, collecting their tears for their awesome healing powers!  And to think that when I was 6, I wanted to travel the world in search of  Unicorns!  They’ve been enslaved in China all this time!

Free the Unicorns!  Free the Unicorns!  Free the Unicorns!  Free the Unicorns!

Ahem!  Pardon my zealousness, but I don’t think King Haggard did the world any favors, nor his kingdom, by selling the Unicorns to Communist China.   After all, it didn’t keep his kingdom nor his castle from falling into poverty.

Ok, where were we again?  Oh yes, the healing powers of Unicorn tears and their uses in band aids.

See the new skin underneath the band aid? The owie was much, much larger! Now only the hole remains, which fits under the pad on the band aid.

I’m waiting for skin growth at this point as everything below that point to the bone has filled in, finally.  I’ll let you know if the Unicorn Tears speed up my healing.  In the mean time, please pray for the release of the Unicorns!

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